How do I know if I really love someone or is it merely attraction?

Q: How do I know if I really love someone or is it merely attraction?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Time will tell you. Ask them to behave tough towards you and then you will
know. When someone puts too many demands on you, then you will be able to
know how much you really honor them.

inter-caste or inter-religious marriages wronG

Q: Gurudev, are inter-caste or inter-religious marriages wrong according to
Dharma?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
No, not at all. It is not the caste or religion that is wrong. It is your
compatibility that is important here. Do not go to someone and tell them,
“I cannot live without you” when you are in a state of emotional upsurge.
If you do so in an emotional state, then very soon you will also say, “I
cannot live with you”. It will be like a flip over. This is why in such
matters you should take the advice of elders also.

NO TIME FOR SPIRITUAL PRACTICES

I want to ask you a question. When you have to go for work, do you ever leave without brushing your teeth? Even if you have a lot of work to do, do you leave without brushing your teeth? I also had a lot of work to attend to today. I was meeting thousands of people today since morning. But do you give up drinking water because of so much work? Suppose today you know you have a lot of work in the office. Do you simply get out of bed, change into your shirt and trousers and run off to work? Do you go to the restroom or not before leaving? If you do not brush your teeth one day, no one will be able to sit near you. So it is necessary to brush your teeth every day. This is dental hygiene. In the same way, doing pranayama and meditation every day is mental hygiene. 

To free the mind of all stress and to go to work with a cheerful and happy mind, you need to invest a few minutes every day for this as well. Take some time out for this. Once it comes into your routine, then it becomes a part of your day and it does not disturb your schedule anymore. No matter how urgent things may be, just have this firm determination that I will sit for 10 minutes and leave only after completing my pranayama and meditation. Once you discipline yourself this way, then that’s all that is needed. Even if you do it just once in the day, that is good enough. And if by chance you miss it one day, it is alright; do not worry too much and do it the very next day. But I am not willing to agree that one does not get time to do this. 

See, everyone has only 24 hours at their disposal. One who works in a job too has only 24 hours, and even the Prime Minister has only 24 hours for himself. Both of them feel that there isn’t enough time. How much we are able to do and achieve in the time we have is a measure of our skillfulness.

RUNNING BEHIND HAPPINESS

Deep rest is the essence of sadhana. You have become so tired by doing something or the other all the time. Now just sit down for some time and to be with yourself. Do some meditation. When you meditate, you will start seeing a new world in front of you. You get deep rest is meditation. You get rest when you are content, and this rest is what gives rise to Happiness. 

Running behind happiness makes you tired. When you run behind happiness you get tired, but when you repose in the self, when you rest, you get energy, and that brings you strength, joy and happiness. So every once in a while, stop the rat race, and take some time out to be with yourself, and get some rest. This is what knowledge is and this is what spirituality is. 

Many time, in the name of sadhana also, we start engaging ourselves in some activity, and once again we get tired. I tell you, the physical body does not make you as tired as the mind does. Work doesn’t make you as tired as much as your desires. Nothing else makes you more tired than your own desires, or greed. So what is important is for you to become content. Again and again, be content. This is an art and this is what meditation is. True sadhana is to being calm, contented, and rested.

RAKSHA BANDHAN

This full moon is dedicated to the seers - the Rishis. It is also called the Raksha Bandhan. Bandhan means bondage, Raksha means protection. A bondage that protects you - your bondage to the Knowledge, to the Master, to the Truth, to the Self, all Save You. A rope can be tied to either protect or strangle you. The small mind and mundane things can strangle you. The big mind or knowledge saves you. Raksha Bandhan is that bondage that saves you. You are bound by your bondage to the Satsang. Your bondage to the Master, to the Truth, to the ancient Knowledge of the Rishis, and that is your saviour. Bandhan is bonding and bonding is essential in life. Let the bonding be divine in a life free from bondage.

HOW TO HANDLE EGO

If you find that there is ego, then let it be. Even ego belongs to the divine. Don’t try to surrender, don’t struggle. If you say that I have surrendered my ego, then it is bigger ego. It’s like saying, "I am the most humble person in this entire world!" That doesn’t show humility. Just be Natural. 

The more you grow in knowledge, you see that ego goes away. You know, around the seed there is a membrane. When you soak it in water, the seed bulges, sprouts and automatically the membrane breaks away. But if you try to peel the skin, the seed itself will break. Same way, when you soak yourself in knowledge, in devotion, in love, and in wisdom, you automatically find the ego going away.

Struggling in life

Lord Krishna says, “Think of Me even as you struggle or battle in life". 

When you give your 100% in anything that you do, then that is a battle. A battle does not always imply killing someone. A battle means, wherever you put all your efforts and everything at stake. So if life appears to be a struggle, then put in your 100%. But Lord Krishna says, “Do so by keeping Me in your mind at all times as you struggle. Surrender both your mind and your intellect to Me when you do this”.It means to surrender totally – both by feeling and by understanding (logic).
Some people do not apply any understanding but are driven greatly by feelings only. Some people are able to understand and interpret things correctly but there are no feelings or emotions in them. That is why Lord Krishna has said many times in the Bhagavad Gita, “Be connected to Me both by your feelings and by your intellect”.
Krishna says, “Surrender unto Me and accept Me totally – both at the level of emotions and the intellect. By doing so you will surely attain Me and there is no doubt about this. You will attain that steadiness and equanimity; you will awaken into that true Self that is Me. I do not reside somewhere distant away from you. I reside within you".